Today, we press on in our series, “Can You Give Your Life for the Cause?” Remember that we are looking at what it means to be a Wesleyan and to build God’s Kingdom in the 21st Century. You’ll remember that a few weeks ago, I told you to pray for me as we entered this series. Today’s topic is one of those hot topics. We want to take a look at what Wesleyans believe regarding marriage and the family.

This is going to sound harsh, but unless you’ve been living under a rock for the last twenty to thirty years, you know that the traditional definitions of marriage and the family have changed quite drastically. Fortunately, God’s Word hasn’t changed, despite human kind’s best efforts to do that.

Let’s pickup in the same spot we were last week, in Paul’s letter to the Ephesians, chapter 5.

Imitate God in everything you do, because you are his dear children. Live a life filled with love…Let there be no sexual immorality, impurity, or greed among you. Such sins have no place among God’s people…You can be sure that no immoral, impure, or greedy person will inherit the Kingdom of Christ and of God. So be careful how you live…Make the most of every opportunity in these evil days. Don’t act thoughtlessly, but understand what the Lord wants you to do.

I read those words of the apostle Paul again, because I want you to know that great deal of blood, sweat, tears, and thought went into this message. Don’t forget what I said a couple of weeks ago. God has given me a love for this congregation and it is my desire to see us become what God desires of us and that is to build God’s Kingdom. At times it may seem that I’m preaching directly to you. Let me assure you that I am not and if I am, it is the Holy Spirit at work.

So let’s bring up the question some of you may be asking, What does the Bible consider to be sexual immorality or impurity? That is a great question. I know that many people like to go directly to the law in Leviticus, but since we are people of grace and a church of the New Testament, I’d like us to go there. Yes, we will get a heavy dose of Paul’s teaching on the subject. One of the churches that knew a lot about sexual immorality was the church at Corinth. Paul writes in 1 Corinthians 6:9-11.

9 Don’t you realize that those who do wrong will not inherit the Kingdom of God? Don’t fool yourselves. Those who indulge in sexual sin, or who worship idols, or commit adultery, or are male prostitutes, or practice homosexuality, 10 or are thieves, or greedy people, or drunkards, or are abusive, or cheat people—none of these will inherit the Kingdom of God. 11 Some of you were once like that. But you were cleansed; you were made holy; you were made right with God by calling on the name of the Lord Jesus Christ and by the Spirit of our God.

So what am I getting at? Like we did last week, we want to take a look at what The Discipline says:

222. We believe that every person is created in the image of God, that human sexuality reflects that image in terms of intimate love, communication, fellowship, subordination of the self to the larger whole, and fulfillment. God’s Word makes use of the marriage relationship as the supreme metaphor for His relationship with His covenant people and for revealing the truth that that relationship is of one God with one people. Therefore God’s plan for human sexuality is that it is to be expressed only in a monogamous lifelong relationship between one man and one woman within the framework of marriage. This is the only relationship which is divinely designed for the birth and rearing of children and is a covenant union made in the sight of God, taking priority over every other human relationship.

So we believe and the Bible teaches that sex is part of God’s plan and that it is a good thing, but with conditions. God designed sex to be part of marriage. Marriage in God’s eyes is reserved for one man to one woman – it is to be a monogamous relationship and it is designed for a lifetime. Sex was designed by God to only be part of the marriage covenant.

For those of you who are Covenant Members, you agreed to abide by The Discipline. In the membership commitments are these words:

Toward Family
(5) To follow the teachings of the Scriptures regarding marriage and divorce. We affirm that sexual relationships outside of marriage and sexual relationships between persons of the same sex are immoral and sinful. We further affirm that heterosexual monogamy is God’s plan for marriage, and we regard sexual sin of the spouse, such as adultery, homosexual behavior, bestiality or incest, as the only biblical grounds for considering divorce, and then only when appropriate counseling has failed to restore the relationship.

(6) To preserve the sanctity of the home by honoring Christ in every phase of family life and by demonstrating Christ-like love (always avoiding spousal or child abuse), and by living peacefully with one another, thereby encouraging the nurture and education of the children in the Christian faith so as to bring them early to the saving knowledge of Christ.

This is an area in which I have been doing quite a bit of thinking. I believe the scriptures are quite clear on how God feels about marriage and The Discipline is quite clear on what we Wesleyans feel about marriage. God considers the topic serious and so should we. But what I’m wondering is why evangelicals in general make a big deal out of homosexual marriage and yet the Bible also teaches that divorce is wrong and so is pre-marital sex (in any sense of the word,) and yet the divorce rates in evangelical churches and we can include The Wesleyan Church in that are just as high in the church as they are in the world. Why in the world do Christians not take God’s design for marriage seriously? I think sometimes that is why the world has such a problem with Christians. It is very hypocritical to denounce “gay marriage” and yet have a divorce rate that is equal to the worlds, when God makes it clear that divorce is just as wrong as homosexuality. In fact, I was just reading last week that in some evangelical circles, the divorce rate among pastors is as high as it is among the laity. You may have read recently of to high profile divorce cases in the Charismatic community. What’s interesting to note that in both cases the partners have been married multiple times. Where is the outcry from the evangelical leaders? It is encouraging to see that this trend (as far as I know) does not exist within the Wesleyan Church among pastors. However, we lose an average of one Wesleyan pastor a week to moral failure.

Sexual immorality comes in many forms; pre-marital sex is one of those. Our culture has redefined what this means. Just so you know where I stand on this issue – pre-marital sex means one person touching another person’s private parts. I know that I’m sounding “old-fashioned” today. Like I said, our culture has redefined quite a bit of our moral code and yet God’s word has not changed. We need to stand in the face of our culture and declare what God’s Word says. God’s plan is that sex takes place within the bounds of marriage and that marriage is between one man and one woman and that marriage commitment is for a lifetime.

I want you to know that I hold these things dearly. I want you also to know that I believe in grace. There are those today who are caught (literally) in a trap of sexual immorality. The Bible is clear that those who practice it are sinners. I don’t believe that some sexual sins are any worse or any better than any of the others. Sin is sin and yet 1 John 1:9 was written to believers, “If we confess our sins to Him, He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins to Him and to cleanse us from all wickedness. I really believe, but for the grace of God there go I. One of the important things is that all sinners, no matter what the sin (for one we were all sinners once ourselves) deserve the love of Jesus.

I don’t know all of your stories. We are still learning about each other. Pam and I have been married 20 years and still we don’t know everything about each other. Our church family is just like that. Again, I want each one of you to know that I love you. I want each one of you to know that God loves you. Sometimes we even have trouble understanding that concept, but He does. I know from experience, that we do not have a perfect marriage, but Pam and I make a conscious effort to make it work, even when it seems pretty bad and believe it or not that happens from time to time.

Wesleyans do believe in the sanctity of marriage. One of the things I want to do this morning is to recognize those in our congregation (because we have several) who have been married fifty or more years. You deserve a standing ovation, because you are a model to what marriage is all about. I’d even like to recognize those who have been married 25 or more years. Think about that…That’s over half of my lifetime. I will soon be married half of my life. You deserve praise as well, because you have committed to make it work. This morning if you are married, I want you to pay special attention. One of the things I do when I go to a wedding is sort of renew my vows each time I hear those words and with that in mind, I want you to listen to those words that you’ve heard at many marriage ceremonies. As we do that I want you to renew those vows…they are important.

Dearly beloved, we are gathered together in the sight of God, and in the presence of these witnesses, to join together this man and this woman in holy matrimony, which is an honorable estate, instituted of God, and signifying unto us the mystical union which exists between Christ and His church. It is therefore not to be entered into unadvisedly, but reverently, discreetly and in the fear of God. Into this holy estate these two persons come now to be joined.

Remember what that felt like? I know I was grinning ear to ear as there stood Pam right next to me. Then there are the words that we usually repeat:

I take you to be my wedded spouse, to have and to hold, from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, till death do us part, according to God’s holy law; and thereto I pledge you my faith.

I don’t know about you but we’ve had the richer or for poorer, in sickness and in health for both of us, for better and for worse (Pam usually gets the worse of me.) We love and we cherish each other. Our plan is to continue to do this till God takes one or both of us home! That’s the challenge I have for you this morning. I challenge you to live out those vows this week and the week after and the week after forever, until God takes you home.

As we close, I want you to seal that commitment with this chorus “Find Us Faithful.” May we be role models to this world…Can you give your life for the Cause of a godly marriage?